10 Ways to Reflect God’s Character in Your Christian Wedding

One of the most misunderstood attributes of God is that He is always good. When life doesn’t go as we planned because God’s ways are not always our ways, we might doubt His goodness. But Psalm 145:9 says, “The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.” Goodness is part of who God is. When Moses asked to see God, He said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you” (Exodus 33:18-19).

Imitating the goodness of God is a good thing for couples. Long before the wedding day, create opportunities to emulate God’s goodness, perhaps by planning special things to benefit and bless the partner. A special gift might be given that expresses goodwill — an attitude of friendliness and caring — that will help solidify the relationship. Suggestions are an attractive memory box, or a framed Scripture verse about love or marriage.

Also, take time to honor your parents in word and deed before the marriage, showing God’s goodness to them.

2. God Is Wise — Choose Activities Carefully

One of God’s traits is His wisdom and understanding. It is important to consider His perspective in all the preparations for your wedding. “Wisdom from heaven” is the believers’ example.

Bringing God glory is a wise approach in a Christian wedding. Reconsider any activities that do not honor God, even though they might be considered acceptable at other weddings. A simple twist on traditions can set the proper tone — serious in terms of commitment to Christ and your partner, and sweetly memorable with unique, beautiful, and fun activities that reflect both of your personalities. 

Ask God to show you biblical insights concerning the choice of music, faith-based statement pieces, Scripture verses on invitations, etc. Also, pursue God’s wisdom regarding how much money is spent on the wedding and reception.

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The Bible says God is love. We cannot earn His love; He freely offers it. God loved us when we were totally unlovely  — so much so that He sent His Son to be our Savior.

Before the wedding day is a good time to review 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, read some helpful Christian relationship books, and listen to Christian podcasts and messages about love and marriage. You might discover Bible verses or readings that touch your hearts. Include them in your wedding. Think of ways to focus on God’s love. Express your God-given love for each other sincerely.

Showing love during dating and engagement may be simple; but loving for the long-term will take hard, consistent work because marriage is designed to be an other-centered union of two unique individuals. Consider Christ-centered, biblical pre-marital counseling long before your wedding day. A good counselor can help root out and address potential problems that might hinder your love. Time spent on this kind of self-examination and relationship-examination pays dividends throughout a marriage and increases a couple’s devotion to each other.

4. God Is Holy — Honor Purity Responsibly

The Bible says God is holy and His ways are perfect. Two other words relate to God’s holiness. God is righteous, meaning He has right moral character. God is pure, meaning He is set apart from anything that defiles. God expects us to be holy, pure, and blameless; and the Holy Spirit enables or empowers us to cultivate these traits (1 Peter 1:14-16; Philippians 1:10).

While it’s important to express love to your partner, be careful. “Love” does not equate to sexual expression before marriage. Be responsible to God and your beloved. Be sure that you honor your partner’s body by not becoming physically involved until after marriage. While defrauding a partner in marriage means failing to come together for physical intimacy, during the engagement period, defrauding is taking advantage of the partner through lack of personal self-control (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8). God wants us to control our bodies in a principled way — without lust and sexual immorality — and not “go beyond” what honors God in the relationship.

You may have already sinned as a couple in this area. Know that God is forgiving when we confess sin, but it’s also important to ask for your partner’s forgiveness too, and commit to holiness moving forward (1 John 1:9; James 5:16).

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God is compassionate and merciful. God understands that we are not perfect. But Paul says God is “rich in mercy.” Micah said He pardons us because He delights to show mercy. In His mercy, Father God does not give us what we deserve, but offers us abundant grace — saving us not because of who we are or what we do, but because of the work of Jesus in us.

Wedding planning and wedding ceremonies can be stressful. Emotions may be on edge, and thoughts may get scrambled by overwhelming details. Partners may find themselves reacting to each other rather than responding in healthy, helpful ways.

This is the time to forgive a partner who overreacts out of stress. This is the time to give a partner lots of grace and not dump on more stress with hurtful reactions. Respond in loving, forgiving ways, and allow God time to work. Assure your partner that you are in this life with them for the long haul, and you will help them through these and future tough times.

6. God Is Patient — Face Frustrations Calmly

God is slow to anger and patient toward us. His patience with us is beautiful. He patiently works within us and waits for us to cooperate with Him. Paul, a former blasphemer and persecutor, said Jesus showed “immense patience,” toward him (1 Timothy 1:15-16).

Be humble, gentle, and patient with your partner, especially through the decision-making process before the wedding. Be sure to allow plenty of time to think through choices together. Rushing around or cramming too many things into too short a time period will surely infuse the wedding planning with tension. Jumping to anger when your partner frustrates you will likely also build up concerns about your future together. Patience is not only a virtue in your relationship, it’s a wise investment.

Patience on the wedding day is just as important. Nerves typically spiral partners to a higher level of stress. It’s good stress, but stress, nonetheless. Be slow to anger and offer the gift of patience.

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God is gracious to His children, granting us undeserved favor; and He shows us “many kindnesses” in His graciousness. A popular benediction in church is Numbers 6:24-26, which says, “‘The lord bless you and keep you; the lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.’” When God shines His face on us, many kindnesses follow.

Engaged couples can practice showering each other with kindness too. Even secular science notes that lasting relationships are built through kindness and generosity. Kindness doesn’t just happen. It takes practice.

Kindness might show up in acts of generosity toward the partner, or in serving them in some way. Emotionally, it might mean giving them the benefit of the doubt whenever you’re confused about their words or actions. Kindness might mean helping a partner who is shy about social events, or providing thoughtful encouragement notes — “a kind word” — throughout the engagement and on the wedding day.

8. God Is Truthful — Communicate Concerns Honestly

God is completely truthful. There are no falsehoods, lies, or deceptions in Him. He is absolutely reliable.

Use Scripture truths in your wedding as often as you can. Figure out how to share the Good News of Christ in a direct but winsome way.

An important part of marriage is truth-telling. Wisely choose the time for conversations about issues that concern your marriage, especially sensitive issues; but be cautious about sharing things that have no bearing on the relationship. Some couples lament later in their marriage, “If only I had known . . ..” While there certainly will be plenty of opportunities to grow to know each other better through the years, your partner needs to know what you are thinking and feeling during your engagement. Be brave; speak truthfully in love (Ephesians 4:25).

“Wedding jitters” are normal, but some engaged people, although they dearly love their partners, experience “cold feet” — a sinking feeling that might include questioning the decision to marry. Work through feelings of uncertainty or fear with honest communication, either with your soon-to-be spouse or with a trusted friend.

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Because God is mighty and strong, He is able to be our refuge and help us. He is strong but never pushy. God wants us to be strong in His mighty power. 

There might be moments prior to the wedding when a partner shows a weakness or desperate need. Watch for tale tell signs: explosions of tears, sudden fears, etc. That’s the time for the stronger partner — stronger in that moment — to protect, become a refuge, or encourage the weaker. Marriage is a beautiful dance of weaknesses and strengths, and neither partner is always strong. Practice what carpenters call “sistering,” which is reinforcing a weak or damaged area for added strength, so it doesn’t fall apart. Coming alongside with support is one way to build up your partner. It’s one of the “One Anothers” of Scripture that apply to all Christians.

Avoid becoming pushy or embarrassing your partner. Rather than shaming, love courageously moves in to offer help, and then follows through boldly and courageously. Remind your loved one that your goal is to always be supportive in the relationship. Practice coming alongside during engagement, because there will be many occasions to use this skill in marriage.

10. God Is Faithful — Speak Vows Resolutely

God is faithful and His faithfulness is shown through His mercy and unfailing compassion (Lamentations 3:22-23). We can count on Him to fulfill His promises.

Wedding vows are not to be taken lightly. They are promises made to God first and then each other. Whether using traditional vows or writing your own, simply express your hearts to God concerning your commitment to Him and to loving each other in a biblical manner. Christian marriage is meant to mirror God’s covenant relationship with His people in Christ. Consider how marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and His Bride, and whether you want to include this truth in your wedding. 

Before you speak your vows, you might want to pray together to seek God’s good favor in your marriage. One wedding tradition is that grooms shouldn’t see brides before their wedding, but couples get creative about this. For example, one couple held hands around the corner of a dividing wall while they prayed aloud together. Other couples wait to pray together quietly at a special wedding bench during the ceremony while the audience prays silently for them and their marriage.

When speaking your wedding vows, express them lovingly, but also with firm determination and purpose. If they are scripted, your vows might be included in the wedding program. Vows are designed for the two of you before God, but they also serve as a powerful testimony to others who will watch and listen. Many in attendance will likely be instrumental in encouraging you to keep those vows throughout your lives together. 

A Christian marriage is designed by God to flourish, even as individual Christians flourish. The closer each partner grows toward God, emulating His character, the closer they’ll likely grow toward each other. 

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