Exploring the 10 Commandments: The Seventh Command
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“You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).
Our culture is obsessed with sex. There are TV shows that revolve around it, songs written about it, and news updates surrounding it. People love a good scandal, gossip about it rampantly swirls about, and forbidden love seems so exciting. With all the glamour, passion, and imaginary storylines, it can be tempting to believe that the enemy has something better for us than the Lord’s plan for marital love.
This week we will study the seventh commandment: Do not commit adultery.
What Is Adultery?
Webster’s Dictionary defines adultery as: “voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than that person's current spouse or partner.”
This is a very basic and worldly definition. It is accurate, but it is not a full definition that God gives to us. Jesus teaches us that adultery is more than just a married person having an affair.
Jesus defines adultery in Matthew 5:27-30.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”
Have you ever looked at someone else with lust in your heart? Have you ever viewed pornography? Have you ever had sinful thoughts, sexualizing another human being? Have you ever read a scandalous novel? Have you flirted online with someone while being married? Have you lived with someone before you got married? Have you had premarital sex? These are just a few examples of adultery today. God is serious about sin. He had to die on the cross for these sins, but we can so quickly call them “common” or “the way things are today.”
Jesus says to be holy because He is holy (1 Peter 1:16) He says to set an example for the believers in our purity when we are young (1 Timothy 4:12). We do not let the culture define our sexuality; our sexuality is defined by our Creator for a purpose and for our good.
What Does the Bible Say about Sex Outside of Marriage?
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality” (1 Corinthians 6:9).
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
If we are in covenant with Jesus as His church, that means that anything outside of His will is sinning against Him and breaking that covenant. This means that premarital sex of any form is committing adultery against God. It is not God’s will and it is not honoring marriage and the marriage bed. In fact, it is defiling the marriage bed. God’s perfect plan has always been for one man and one woman to enter into a marriage covenant together. We see this with Adam and Eve before sin entered the world.
Our highest goal in romantic relationships should be to seek the Spirit for strength, to set up healthy boundaries, to have accountability, and then to marry when the time is right. Our highest goal is for marriage to be intimate and to share that gift with our spouse alone in order to worship God and glorify Him within our covenant relationships. We must avoid and eliminate any foothold that might try to come in to destroy what God originally brought together.
What Is Spiritual Adultery
Maybe you are still not convinced that you have committed adultery. I want to also add that the Lord makes it clear that we have all committed adultery against Him. As His church, we are His bride, we carry His name, and we have cheated on Him with the enemy and our sin. We have chosen temporary pleasures instead of being faithful to our Groom, Jesus.
“You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God” (James 4:4).
James implies that we have had relations with the world and the sin in it instead of staying in a covenant relationship with Christ. He made the covenant with us; He never breaks it. But we, like Gomer in the story of Hosea, have spiritually prostituted ourselves to chase after our sins instead of our First Love.
“Then the Lord said to me again, ‘Gomer has many lovers, but you must continue loving her. Do this because it is an example of the Lord’s love for Israel. He continues to love them, but they continue to turn to other gods, and they love to eat those raisin cakes’” (Hosea 3:1).
Marriage is a covenant that is so powerful because it represents the love that Christ has for the church. He is the Groom and the people of God are His bride. Our sin is serious against Him because we are breaking our covenant. Much like the story of Hosea and Gomer, she continued to turn to her old lifestyle of sin, but Hosea wanted to set her free in the marriage relationship with him. This models how Jesus has brought us great freedom in our covenant relationship with Him.
How Does Divorce Fit into This?
I know and love friends and family who have had the unexpected and undesired result of divorce in their marriage. Scripture makes it clear that if someone has been unfaithful, then divorce is acceptable and one may remarry. I know some who have been afraid of God’s anger if they remarried, but they overcame that fear, realizing that this was not a sin.
Perhaps you wrestle with that too. Look to the Bible, seek pastoral wisdom and thoughts from mentors and trusted friends to guide you in your unique decisions. The Holy Spirit will lead you and the Bible will be a guide. (Make sure to correctly interpret and apply Scripture to your situation.)
Bible Study Tools shares, “From these teachings, the Bible presents two clear grounds for divorce: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Sexual immorality encompasses a broad range of inappropriate sexual behaviors, and Jesus’ exception clause permits divorce under these conditions (Matthew 5:32, 19:9). Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse is addressed by Paul, who allows the believing partner to accept the separation and move forward (1 Corinthians 7:15).”
Divorce is not black and white, so seek wisdom from others in regard to your situation. God cares for you. You need to be safe. Please get help if you are not.
Whatever the circumstances that we are in, how are we honoring God and being holy in our life and relationships? Our greatest joy is to bless Him and live set apart lives for His glory. He can welcome back and restore the most active adulterer. There is hope for everyone in Christ.
The Ten Commandments List
Commandments 1-4
Thou shall have no other gods before me. (Exodus 20:3)
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images. (Exodus 20:4-6)
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. (Exodus 20:7)
Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. (Exodus 20:8-11)
Commandments 5-10
Honor your father and mother. (Exodus 20:12)
Thou shalt not murder. (Exodus 20:13)
Thou shalt not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)
Thou shalt not steal. (Exodus 20:15)
Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. (Exodus 20:16)
Thou shall not covet your neighbor. (Exodus 20:17)
Jesus summed up all of the 10 commandments. As we look at commandments 1-4, they are vertical, about our relationship with God. (Love the Lord your God.) As we look at commandments 5-10, they are horizontal, about our relationship with others. (Love your neighbor as yourself.)
This week, pray and ask the Spirit to reveal any potential areas of deception or strongholds the enemy is trying to place in your life that leads to sexual sin. Confess and repent, turn from them, get accountability, and seek to honor God by the help of His Spirit in you.
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The Sixth Command
The Fifth Command
The Fourth Command
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