How Do I Stop Doing What I Hate I Do?
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“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15)
There is a reality that every believer must recognize, and the sooner you do, the better off you will be. You are at war. An internal war goes on between your flesh and your spirit. Galatians 5 tells us these two will never come to an agreement; the things they want oppose each other. Because there will never be a peace treaty, this fight will continue until the day you die. Understanding this makes what Paul says in Romans, “what I hate I do,” more understandable and real.
“What I Hate I Do” Acknowledges the Struggle with the Sinful Nature
It would be wonderful if, after we got saved, we never struggled with sinful natures again. Imagine never having to deal with the fleshly urges we must guard ourselves against. However, that is not where we are right now. Depending on our struggles, God may immediately remove some appetites when we get saved. The more we go down our discipleship journey of becoming like Christ, the more he convicts us about our appetites. But we must still contend with our flesh. This is why Paul said, “what I hate I do.”
Paul is making an acknowledgment two things live in us. The spirit motivates our desire to do what is right. The flesh motivates our desire to do what is sinful. Here is the difference between desires before and after you get saved. As Christians, we know that our sin brings stronger conviction, and since we are saved, our actions impact our witness and fellowship.
Sin is so devastating to us because it breaks our communion with Jesus. Think about how you feel when you sin. An emptiness is present. There is a sense of, “why did I do that?” There is this general remorse, and these things put a divider between you and the Lord. Because these things affect your fellowship with God, you hate them. But now, here is the problem. Even though you hate them, you are sometimes drawn to do them.
“What I Hate I Do” Acknowledges the Weaknesses Within Us
Paul’s words also teach us about watching out for particular weaknesses. We are each drawn to certain types of sins. We all have weak areas, and if we don’t protect them, they can become areas that trip us up. Some people are tempted to drink alcohol excessively—a glass of wine or a piece of rum cake can be dangerous for them. In my case, alcohol is not an area of weakness or temptation. However, if you put a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies and cold milk in front of me, it is a different conversation.
I am not trying to make light of these things. The truth is we all have a natural inclination toward certain things. Over time, because of the impact of these things, we grow to hate them or hate doing them.
How to Stop Doing the Things You Hate to Do
Since there are things you hate to do, can you ever reach the place where you stop doing them? The answer is complicated because we each have a mix of reasons (spiritual, chemical, biological) why we have certain weaknesses. However, we can begin a journey to overcome these weaknesses, both spiritual and practical.
The Spiritual Answer to “What I Hate I Do”
“So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” (Galatians 5:16)
To overcome doing the things we hate doing, we need a power greater than our flesh. That power comes from the Holy Spirit. The same Paul who wrote “what I hate I do” in Romans is the same Paul who writes in Galatians that if we walk by the Spirit, we won’t do the things we hate to do. Here is an article that will look further into this verse in Galatians.
The first step in overcoming the fleshly impulses in our life is to walk by the power of the Holy Spirit. Walking by his power requires daily renewal and reliance upon his ability to overcome the urges that lie within us. As we seek him in prayer and worship and fill our hearts and minds with the word of God, we can build up a level of resistance to the things that would naturally draw us. Let me say it this way. We overcome natural desires with supernatural strength.
Walking by the Spirit may solve the spiritual need here. However, there is also a practical side to this as well.
The Practical Answer to “What I Hate I Do”
As much as the Holy Spirit helps us not to do the things we hate doing, one thing he does is he gives us practical wisdom. There are places you go, people you hang out with, and things you listen to that feed your fleshly desires. You must avoid those places. Here is some wisdom from Jesus regarding this.
“If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” (Matthew 5:29)
Is Jesus telling you to cut off your body parts? Not at all. If he did, we would all only have one eye (or less). Instead, we must cut off from our lives the things that can entice us to sin.
We do this because of the effects sin can have in our lives. Everything you allow in your space has the potential to affect you and stir up desires, both good and bad, within us. I was recently reading some books by a famous author. I read one and enjoyed the book’s suspense, so I decided to read through a collection of books he had written. As I read the second one, the content didn’t sit right with me. I asked myself, “Why am I feeding my mind with this stuff?” I put the book down and have not picked it back up. The things you feed yourself can move you towards the things you hate or away from them. Cut out anything that could influence you to do things you hate to do.
You Can be Victorious Over the Things You Hate to Do
I want to acknowledge this fight is real. I also want you to recognize the fight is not impossible. You may have to make some changes in your life. You may have to cut some things off. You may have to use practical tools (counseling, community support, medicine) that you never expected you would need to fight your weaknesses. But you can be victorious.
You are not alone in this fight. The Holy Spirit is here to help. Recognize the things you hate doing and work with him to help you overcome them. Ask him what to add to your life and what to cut out. I admit cutting can sometimes be painful. Still, it is better to cut the thing out now than to leave it alone and potentially cause more harm.
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