Why Did Jesus Ask Peter "Do You Love Me"?

Contributing Writer

Updated February 12, 2024

There are many who claim to believe in Jesus and accept him as a historical figure or a great teacher. Yet the deep and meaningful and life-changing question is not if he ever existed, but do you love him?

Among the most beautiful moments in Scripture is when Jesus turns to Peter after the Resurrection and asks Peter "Do you love me?" Not only does Jesus ask Petere this once, but three times. There is a distinct beauty in the question, as it addresses the shame Peter felt from his denial, foretells Peter’s future role in the Church, and restores his relationship to Jesus. Through this question, Jesus gives Peter the opportunity to remember who Jesus always said he was – a devoted leader and evangelist who would strengthen those around him and spread the Gospel throughout the earth. Peter truly did love Jesus, and in this moment, he knew that even his denial of Christ was not enough to stop Jesus from loving him as well.

Where in the Bible Does Jesus Ask Peter “Do You Love Me”?

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs." - John 21:15

This conversation between Jesus and Peter occurs in John 21, on the shore of the Sea of Galilee after the Resurrection. It was a place that they were all familiar with, and Jesus had spent much time there with these fishermen. Even after the Resurrection, these Apostles were still bewildered and didn’t know where to go or what to do next. Not surprisingly, they went back to the life they had known before Jesus – the life of fishermen. These men loved Jesus dearly, but they just didn’t know what to do or where to start. Like he always does, Jesus came to them.

Peter specifically seemed to be unsure of his standing with Jesus. This was based on the night that Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and crucified. Before the arrest, Peter was the one who had spoken up the loudest, and soon after had fallen the farthest. We read in Luke 22:33 that Peter was “ready to go to prison and death” for the sake of Jesus. The response that Jesus gave to him must have been heartbreaking, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me” (Luke 22:34).

Why Does Jesus Ask Peter "Do You Love Me" Three Times?

The night Jesus was arrested, Peter had done the one thing he thought he could never do, deny Jesus as the Son of God, His Lord and Savior.

When Peter said that he would suffer for Jesus, he meant it. He believed he meant it anyway. He had been with Jesus through it all, and there was no reason for him to ever deny him. Especially three times! Yet this is exactly what happened.

Luke 22:54-62 records this occurrence, as Peter fears admitting he even knows who Jesus is, without even realizing he is fulfilling exactly what Jesus said would happen. The heartbreak comes in 61 and 62, “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word the Lord had spoken to him: ‘Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times.’ And he went outside and wept bitterly.”

This is where the relationship between Jesus and Peter was left off. Yet Peter still loves Jesus deeply, he is just ashamed of his actions and inability to follow through with what he said he would do. When Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, it is a rhetorical question. Jesus knows full well that Peter loves him (as Peter also knows), but he asks for the benefit of Peter. There is also a unique meaning in each time Jesus asks if Peter “loves” him.

In English, we only have one word for “love.” We “love” pizza, we “love” our family, and we “love” a TV show. Obviously not all the same kind of love! In Greek, the language in which the New Testament is written, there are different words for different types of love.

The first time Jesus asks Peter "do you love me?", he uses the word agapē. This is not the kind of love one has for pizza, but is a deep, unselfish, and totally sacrificial kind of love. Peter answers, “you know I love you,” using the word phileō in response. This love is not insignificant but is the type of love one has for a brother or a dear friend. So the conversation recorded in John 21:15-17 goes like this:

“Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon son of John, do you agapē me more than these?’
‘Yes, Lord,’ he said, ‘you know that I phileō you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my lambs.’
Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you agapē me?’
He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I phileō you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep.’
The third time he said to him, ‘Simon son of John, do you phileō me?’
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, ‘Do you phileō me?’ He said, ‘Lord, you know all things; you know that I phileō you.’ Jesus said, ‘Feed my sheep.’”

Peter denied Jesus three times, and Jesus allows Peter three opportunities to state his love for him. There is nothing magical about this number, other than it draws Peter into the fact that Jesus has already forgiven him for his three denials, loves him, and has a job for him to do.

This phileō love is important for several reasons, one being that Jesus is asking Peter, do you really love me as a brother and a dear friend? This causes Peter to feel hurt, because he really does love Jesus this way, and is simply overcome with emotion at what he has done and the forgiveness he is undeserving of.

Peter's Realization

Peter is deeply hurt, but it is not because Jesus is trying to hurt him. What Jesus is doing here is building him up and reassuring him that he is still who Jesus told him he would be, and even his moment of denial was not strong enough to stop what God had started.

The imagery of the moment must have also been emotional for Peter. There are two mentions of a “charcoal fire” in the New Testament, the first when Peter denied Jesus three times, “the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself” (John 18:18), and at this moment when Peter three times confesses his love for Christ, “When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread” (John 21:9).

The last time Peter sat with Jesus next to this kind of fire was his lowest moment, and he is now in the exact kind of environment, but given a new opportunity from his dear friend and risen King.

Why Does Jesus Tell Peter to "Feed My Sheep"?

“Again Jesus said, ‘Simon son of John, do you love me?’ He answered, ‘Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.’ Jesus said, ‘Take care of my sheep’” (John 21:16).

After Jesus asks Peter "do you love me?" three times, he then each time gives instructions after Peter answers. He tells Peter that if he truly loves him, he will take care of his followers. Peter’s fear on that previous night manifested itself through the action of denial, but now Jesus presents an opportunity to show his love for Jesus through positive action. Peter is to focus his energy on leading, guarding, and feeding (spiritually and literally) the people who have chosen to follow Christ, along with many more that will soon be joining them.

What Does John 21:15 Mean for Us?

This emotional and redeeming interaction with Peter is a reminder of the Savior’s deep, deep love for us. As Paul writes in 2 Timothy 2:13, “if we are faithless, He remains faithful.” Even when we fail – and we will fail – Jesus does not abandon or give up on us. He gives grace and builds us up, even more, strengthening us in his love. When we truly love Christ, it will show up in our actions, and no setback or failure can ever separate us from his love.

Jason Soroski is a homeschool dad and member of the worship team at matthias lot church in St. Charles, MO. He spends his free time hanging out with his family, exploring new places, and writing about the experiences. Connect on Facebook or at JasonSoroski.net.