Wrath

Proverbs 20:22; 24:17-18; 25:21-22

Main Idea: You are freed from wrath when you trust in God’s wrath.

1. Avoid Being a Wrathful Person Because It Will Earn the Wrath of God (24:17-18).
2. Trust in the Wrath of God (20:22; 25:21-22).

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” That is one of the great quotes in film history. It comes from the movie The Princess Bride. We loved watching that movie as kids, especially when Inigo Montoya gets his revenge on the man who killed his father. As he exacts his vengeance, he finally gets to say the line that he has been repeating to himself his entire life!

We all love “get even” stories because injustice makes us so angry. That is why revenge stories and songs are so popular. I cannot help but smile when the Count of Monte Cristo coldly pays back everyone who did him wrong. People are fascinated by shows like Maury Povich’s when he brings out high school nerds who are now good-looking and jacked with muscles to show off to those who used to pick on them. People love listening to songs like Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats,” or “Two Black Cadillacs,” or Toby Keith’s “How Do You Like Me Now?” Keith sings about someone who made fun of him in high school but now wakes up to an alarm in the morning hearing Keith’s song on the radio. How can we not help but feel some glee in these bits of pop culture?

The reason we resonate with these movies, shows, and songs is because we all know what it is like to be wronged or for someone we love to have been wronged. Many people know what it is like to be bullied and made fun of. There are names that you can still hear today that you have not been called for twenty years, and just hearing that name still turns your stomach. Many people have experienced broken promises or the abandonment of a parent, been abused by someone they trusted, cheated on, or gossiped about. You may have been abandoned, raped, abused, or stabbed in the back by a friend, and you still experience deep pain.

Since we all know what it is like to be wronged or for someone we love to be wronged, we all love the revenge story. There is a sense in which we should love these stories: we are born with an innate sense of justice because we have been made in the image of a God who is just. That is why we get really angry when people get away with doing what is wrong or get off on a technicality, especially if it is someone we love who was hurt. We want the offender to get what is coming to him. We want justice to be done!

Since we are made in the image of a God who is just, and since wanting justice to be done is not wrong, why does God condemn wrath and bitterness? The problem we have is not the desire for justice to be done. The problem we have is the desire to be the ones who execute the justice, when that job belongs to God alone. Our sense of justice is right, but trying to be the one who executes it is wrong because it is an attempt to take God’s place. When you refuse to lay down a grudge, you reveal that you do not trust that God is able to deal with an injustice to your satisfaction. We see this truth throughout the book of Proverbs. People are wrathful because they do not trust the wrath of God to make things right.

Avoid Being a Wrathful Person Because It Will Earn the Wrath of God

Proverbs 24:17-18

Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirs up conflicts, but love covers all offenses.” Therefore, according to Proverbs, being a wrathful, vengeful, bitter, angry, quick-tempered, unforgiving person is the path of foolishness. In contrast, wisdom means being a patient person who is slow to anger and quick to forgive (14:29). Holding on to grudges and seeking to get even are condemned throughout the book. Forgiveness and mercy are encouraged.

The problem is that we think since we never took a Louisville Slugger to someone’s car that we are not wrathful people. Yet there are all kinds of ways to be a wrathful person. For some, they just have a kind of cold silence. They might say, “If you don’t know what you did, then I’m not going to tell you.” For others, they just let things fester with their spouse because they think that if they don’t act mad, he will think that what he did is no big deal. Some try to lash out with bad behavior, like looking to someone other than their spouse for affection in order to teach their spouse a lesson. Some might just imagine in their mind, If that person who hurt me were sick or dead, my life would be happier.

Proverbs mentions all kinds of ways people try to get even that do not necessarily include violence. Some respond to an insult from someone else by crafting a great comeback. Some lash out by gossiping about others. For example, in one of Taylor Swift’s songs where she is done wrong by a boyfriend, she tells him that she will tell everyone else that he is gay. Proverbs calls us to another path. Proverbs 17:9 says, “Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but whoever gossips about it separates friends.” People try to get even by constantly bringing up past wrongs done to them and refusing to let them go. Some just blow up in a fury and lose their temper with their wife, husband, or children by saying things they should not say and do not really mean. It damages their relationships and ability to share intimacy. Instead, Proverbs 17:27 urges, “The one who has knowledge restrains his words, and one who keeps a cool head is a person of understanding.” So instead of gossiping or losing our temper or making lists of wrongs done to us, we are called to be cool-headed and let go of offenses done to us!

For some of us, we can ease any guilt we might feel over our bitterness with the fact that “I never acted on it.” But even if you never act on it, bitterness—which starts in the heart, in our thought life—is still sin. Further, what starts in the heart may not stay in the heart. Proverbs 20:22 states, “Don’t say, ‘I will avenge this evil!’ Wait on the Lord, and he will rescue you.” The verse references talking to yourself—planning that starts in the heart. The intent to get even starts in the heart, and is accountable to God, even if you never act on it. Jesus says the same thing in Matthew 5!

Some of us don’t do anything except get happy when things go bad for those who hurt us. When they lose their job, struggle in their relationships, or have a bit of “bad luck,” it makes our day a little brighter. Proverbs 24:17-18 warns about that reality: “Don’t gloat when your enemy falls, and don’t let your heart rejoice when he stumbles, or the Lord will see, be displeased, and turn his wrath away from him.” It’s not just that people will not like you if you are a vengeful person, although that is true, but you also will go to hell for gloating. You will receive the wrath of God. Why? Proverbs 24 says that your lack of forgiveness is as much a sin—condemnable before God—as what they did to you. That is a hard truth, but it is the truth, especially for believers who have been forgiven so much.

Duane Garrett writes, “It seems perverse to refrain from gloating so that Yahweh might further injure your enemy” (Proverbs, 199). That may seem like a twisted bit of advice from the sage: you refrain, you forgive, and then that person will get what’s coming to him! Some might think that doesn’t sound like a Christian motive. As John Piper points out, we need to be careful thinking that because Jesus had that motive. That is a Christian motive for being free from wrath (“Future Grace, Part 4”).^[45]

For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps. He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth; when he was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. (1 Pet 2:21-23)

These verses answer the big practical question that hurt people have: How can I forgive? How can I let it go? How can I act like nothing really happened to me while they get away scot-free? The answer to that question is follow the example of Jesus and hand justice over to God! You trust God to handle it!

Jesus, the Wisdom of God, calls us to this: love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, turn the other cheek, and do not revile! He is not some absentee Master who says, “Do what I say, not what I do!” He understands. It is not like a husband giving his wife advice on enduring the pain of childbirth. Jesus knows what he is talking about because he has been wronged in a greater way than you or I ever could be! He carried his cross, got punched in the face, and was whipped, stripped naked, and mocked by taunts: “If you are really God’s Son, come down off that cross!” And when he went through that, Jesus looked into the faces of his murderers and mockers and said, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). We might be tempted to think Jesus was wimpy in that moment and is calling us to be wimpy like he is, but that would be wrong. Jesus is no wimp. He trusted the justice of God! It takes more toughness not to retaliate and to wait for judgment day! Proverbs 24 says that if we fail to trust in God’s wrath for the day of judgment, we will experience that wrath ourselves on judgment day! So, again, what is the antidote to wrath?

Trust in the Wrath of God

Proverbs 20:22; 25:21-22

People believe that forgiveness is the right course of action in every case with one exception—mine! Our hearts are warmed by forgiveness stories, but we all think that our situation is just a little bit different. We think, You could not possibly expect me to forgive him or her after what he or she did to me. How can I forgive a father who killed my mother, a dad who took advantage of me, or a spouse who walked out on me?

How? How do you forgive those who have really wronged you? It is really hard because our biggest fear is that if we let this go, it will be like what they did to me was no big deal. The answer is to follow in the path of Jesus and trust in the wrath of God that they will get what is rightfully and justly coming to them.

Proverbs 20:22 states, “Don’t say, ‘I will avenge this evil!’ Wait on the Lord, and he will rescue you.” The Bible calls us away from vigilante or self-produced justice. People resonate with vigilantes like Zorro, Batman, Dexter, or the Count of Monte Christo because we want justice to be done. But these stories are stories of unbelief. Real forgiveness is a belief issue. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and it is still the beginning of wisdom when it comes to bitterness and forgiveness. You trust God to redress what has happened to you. You free yourself of bitterness by trusting that God will avenge you. In Romans 12:19 the Lord says, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay” (author’s translation). There is no timetable given, but there is certainty that it will happen. No matter how long it takes, you trust that God will set things right in the end.

Proverbs goes a step further. It does not just forbid revenge. Resisting the urge to take revenge is obviously a good step and something we are called to accomplish, but often that can be done through an act of willpower or through just lacking the energy or the opportunity to get back at somebody. No, Proverbs goes a step further when it says do good to those who have wronged you. Proverbs 25:21-22 says—and Paul quotes this in Romans 12—“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”

Why should you do good to those who have hurt you? You do so because it heaps burning coals on their heads. What does that mean? Two options are possible. First, this statement may be a metaphor for repentance similar to an Egyptian repentance ritual where a thief carried a basket of fiery coals on his head as a sign of shame. Thus, your mercy toward them may shame them and lead to their repentance and reconciliation with God and you. Or second, this statement means that your good deeds will bring even greater judgment on those who wronged you. Given the way Paul quotes this in Romans 12, the second option is better. Psalm 11:6 aids this interpretation as well because burning coals refers to God’s judgment: “Let him rain burning coals and sulfur on the wicked; let a scorching wind be the portion in their cup.”^[46] Therefore, your good deeds lead to greater judgment because in many ways your forgiveness and mercy have displayed the cross to them, and instead of repenting they have hardened their hearts. So we forgive and do good to those who hurt us because it will either lead to their repentance or to their judgment. Either way, God will make things right.

The problem for many of us is that we think forgiveness and love of enemies are for really good Christians—like varsity-level Christians. Or we think our case is different. How can you expect me to forgive the people who made my life a living hell? But the Bible says if you do not forgive, you probably are not a Christian. Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses.” And if you do not have God’s forgiveness, that means hell!

These verses are not saying that you have to be a good person to go to heaven or to get God’s forgiveness. They are saying that unforgiveness shows that you do not believe the gospel. Bitter people go to hell not because they are not working hard enough for God, but because they do not trust God to work hard enough for them.

The bottom line is that if we are wrathful people it is because we do not believe the gospel. There are two possibilities for the people who have wronged us (Piper, “Future Grace, Part 4”). First, if it is a Christian who hurt us, Jesus drowned in his own blood to pay for the sin he or she committed against us. God has not swept what that person did to us under the rug of the universe. He has dealt with it. He took what that person did so seriously that he killed his Son for it. If you hold a grudge, essentially you are saying that the cross of Jesus Christ is enough to forgive the sins that you have committed against God, but it is not enough to forgive the sins committed against you. That is a failure to truly believe the gospel.

Ephesians 4:32 says that we are to forgive because we have been forgiven, and our offenses against God are far greater than anyone’s offense against us. So forgive. Be patient in traffic. Do not blow up in anger against your children. Jesus has been infinitely patient and merciful to you. Do good to your enemy, and it may lead to their repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, who paid for every sin that person committed against you.

Second, if it is a non-Christian who hurt you, he or she will pay for those sins forever in hell. If the person who hurt you remains unrepentant, he will suffer for eternity. You do not have to add to that sentence one second of your fury. God does not need your help to carry out that punishment.

Therefore, let go of your grudges, forgive those who hurt you, pray for those who have wronged you, do good to your enemy, and do not insist on always having the last word. The way you live that kind of life is by constantly preaching the gospel to yourself in those moments when your anger begins to simmer and seethe. It may be that your mercy leads to the salvation of the lost because they see the gospel in your kindness in a way they could never see it before. If the world began to see Christians who forgive one another and do not retaliate when made fun of by the world, then just maybe they will start to see the wisdom of God in the foolishness of the cross. When they see crazy people who forgive drunk drivers who killed their children or a wife who forgives terrorists who gunned down her missionary husband, then maybe they will start to see Jesus. Until then, they see people who are just like them. After all, Jesus says even lost people do good to those who are good to them (Matt 5:43-47).

Conclusion

How do we do good to those who hurt us? Peter echoes the words of Proverbs when he tells us to follow Jesus who trusted in the justice of God (1 Pet 2:18-25). Peter saw this firsthand ( John 18). When the mob came for Jesus, Peter took up his sword and cut off a man’s ear. Jesus told Peter to put the sword away because he did not need Peter’s help. Jesus could call the armies of heaven and they would respond to his voice, but Jesus was able to be non-wrathful because he knew God’s wrath needed to come down and be poured out on him at Golgotha. And Jesus knew that one day he would split the eastern sky and return to exact vengeance on all the enemies of God. Every injustice will be set right—bank on it! On that day he will not need your help or my help. As Russell Moore says, “He will say, ‘No need for swords, boys. I can take it from here’” (“Why Jesus”).

Reflect and Discuss

1. What are some famous revenge stories that you love?
2. Why do we love revenge stories?
3. What is right about our desire for revenge and what is wrong about it?
4. What are some ways that we are wrathful that are not necessarily violent?
5. According to Proverbs 24:17-18, how does God feel when we rejoice over our enemies’ failure?
6. How did Jesus endure the injustice of the cross? What does his model mean for us?
7. What are the two possibilities for those who have wronged us?
8. How does the cross of Jesus help you forgive others?
9. How does hell help you forgive others?
10. What are some practical things you need to do as a result of this study?