You Need a Change of Heart

Proverbs 4:20-27

Main Idea: Your heart is the command center for your life.

1. Messages Affect Your Heart (4:20-22).
2. Your Heart Is the Command Center for Your Life (4:23).
3. Your Behavior Reveals the Condition of Your Heart (4:24-27).

Many people think of God like they think of Santa Claus. He judges you if you’re naughty, and he rewards you if you’re nice. Because of that misconception, much of modern Christianity consists of behavior modification. Many people think the main message of Christianity is “Stop doing bad things so God will like you, bless you, and take you to heaven instead of hell when you die. Heaven is for good people, and hell is for bad people; so be a good person and go to heaven not hell.”

There are lots of problems with this understanding of Christianity. One, it is not biblical. Another is this: We cannot stop sinning. We cannot perfectly modify our behavior. Isn’t this clear? When I ( Jon) was a boy, my mom was really concerned about my habit of chewing my nails, and she wanted to rid me of it. So she bought some stuff to rub on my nails that would make them taste yucky so I wouldn’t put my fingers in my mouth. She wanted to modify my behavior. But instead of helping me quit, over time I began to like the taste of what she rubbed on my nails. Has there ever been something like this in your life? A habit you can’t seem to break? It does not matter how many patches for tobacco they come out with or how many paleo diets you see, you cannot seem to change over the long haul. You do well for a while, but then you go back again to those old habits and lifestyles. After a month or two all the weight is back, or you are back to a pack of cigarettes a day.

In the same way, has there ever been a sinful or foolish behavior in your life that you just could not stop? You may have even begged God to take it away. You know it’s wrong, destructive, sinful, and unwise, but you just can’t stop. It’s a continual struggle. There are sin patterns that we try to break but can’t. We try to modify the behavior. We say, “It’s bad, so stop it!” We may even put guards in place that help for a little while, but eventually the guards are not enough. For example, you recognize that you have a porn problem so you put guarding software on your computer to keep you from going to those sites. Things go well for a little while, but then you learn to get around the software, or you look at it on your phone. Or you’ve got a problem with your temper. You explode in anger at your children. So in order to modify the behavior, you decide you’ll count to ten before responding to anything. But sometimes you forget to count because you’re just so angry.

Why don’t these things work? As one pastor said, behavior modification is like mowing dandelions. You can mow over the dandelions, and your lawn will look good; but a day or two later the dandelions have popped up again because you didn’t address the root. Behavior modification treats the surface issue, but it does not dig down to the source. The problem is in our heart—that is the source. If we do not deal with sin and foolishness at the heart level, then even if we mightily try to modify the behavior, it will find new ways to pop out in our lives. So if you have a problem with addiction to alcohol, your primary problem is a lack of self-control. You may modify the alcoholism, but if you do not address the root issue of self-control, the alcohol problem will come back or the self-control issue will resurface with smoking, overeating, or taking painkillers.

This is a problem for all of us. We are all sinners by nature, so we are all broken at the heart level and bent toward sin. That means we love things that God hates, and we hate things that God loves. So we can try to modify the behavior, but it won’t bring lasting change because we are only treating the symptoms and not the source.

The behavior modification approach to Christianity has brought a lot of heartache. Behavior modification can either lead to depression when you can’t fully address your problems or pride if you are able to solve your problems. These are both problematic. The answer for us according to Proverbs 4:20-27 is not behavior modification; it’s that we need a new heart because the heart is the command center for life. The heart is the source for every behavior in your life, so in order to address sin and foolishness we must address them at the heart level. For us to obey God and walk in wisdom, we need a change at the heart level.

Messages Affect Your Heart

Proverbs 4:20-22

Proverbs continually teaches us that Wisdom is a person to love and a path to walk. The father continues to encourage his son to stay on the right path. The son must daily live the law by walking in righteousness. But he must have a new heart with the law written on it to do so.

The father again appeals to his son to embrace his teachings. He emphasizes body parts here (Waltke, Proverbs, Chapters 1–15, 294). He says, “Give your ear to my sayings, don’t let them escape your eyes, and keep them in your heart” (vv. 20-21; authors’ translation). The “sayings” refer to the teaching of Proverbs. Solomon is advising his son, and us through the Spirit, to learn the doctrine of Proverbs (i.e., control your tongue, have a good work ethic, save money, do good to your neighbor, etc.).

Wisdom is a process of receiving the right words and listening to the right voice. There is a necessity of belief because you will continue to listen to the one you trust. Whose voice and what messages do you listen to? There are so many competing messages for Solomon’s son. There are messages coming from the mouths of God, his father, counselors, peers, the forbidden woman, and others. They are all competing for the son’s attention. They all want his heart. The same is true for us. There are songs, movies, shows, books, peers, neighbors, coworkers, parents, and family members speaking into our lives. They try to tell us what to do, how to think, and what decisions will be wise. It can be anything from what product to put in your hair to what relationships you should pursue.

But which ones you listen to is of vital importance because messages go in your ear and then down into your heart (Waltke, Proverbs, Chapters 1–15, 295–96). Your ears and eyes are the gates to your heart. This is why what you listen to and what you look at are so important. The songs you hear, the sermons, the sitcoms, and many other sources shape you. They are powerful, and they can capture you and get you to believe things. Are you listening to the voice of God mediated through Solomon? Is God’s Word the ultimate authority and final word on the matters of your life? Or are you listening to the voice of Folly? Are you listening to messages that have the influence of Satan standing behind them? Are you listening to what will lead you astray?

This is true of listening with the ear, but it is also true of seeing with the eye. What you see will also go down into your heart. So commit yourself to listen to and read wisdom so that it will shape your heart. Don’t just hear or read it; work it down into your heart so it can bring lasting change. This means that you must know wisdom, memorize wisdom, and meditate on it. Meditate and identify what idols or values in your heart are keeping you from walking in wisdom. Yes, the work of God is necessary to change your heart as we will see, but there is also work for you to do on your heart.

Words must go in your ear or eye and down into your heart for you to obey the wisdom of God. The law—wisdom—must be written on the heart. This is a constant theme in Proverbs. Wisdom must enter your heart to keep you from evil (2:10; 3:1; etc.). Proverbs 3:3 and 7:3 say the wise teaching must be written on the “tablet of your heart.” Like the Ten Commandments were written on stone tablets, the wisdom of Proverbs must be written on your heart in order for you to walk in it (cf. Jer 31).

Why should you listen to his words and receive them in your heart? You should receive them because they are life and health (Prov 4:22). Wisdom reverses the curse of death. We’ve seen this before: wisdom is a return to Eden—to paradise. Wisdom reverses the curse’s effects on the course of your life. But these things must be written on your heart for you to obey these commands and receive these benefits because the heart is the command center for your life.

Your Heart Is the Command Center for Your Life

Proverbs 4:23

This is one of the key verses to understanding Proverbs and all of life. Guard your heart because from it flow the springs of life. The heart is the key and source to everything in your life. The heart is the source of the river of your life; it’s the command center. Everything you do flows from your heart. The way you think, talk, and act flows from your heart. The heart is the agent governing all your body’s actions.

But we have a problem. We have broken and sinful hearts that lead us astray. We inherited this heart from Adam. Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound to the heart of a youth.” Proverbs 20:9 says, “Who can say, ‘I have kept my heart pure; I am cleansed from my sin’?” The answer is, no one! Proverbs 28:26 makes clear, “He who trusts in his own heart is a fool” (NASB). Your heart will lead you astray, so “follow your heart” or “trust your feelings” is stupid advice.

The reason we have bad behavior is because the source of our behavior—our heart—is bad. Jesus teaches this in Matthew 12:33-37.

Either make the tree good and its fruit will be good, or make the tree bad and its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you speak good things when you are evil? For the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. A good person produces good things from his storeroom of good, and an evil person produces evil things from his storeroom of evil. I tell you that on the day of judgment people will have to account for every careless word they speak. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.

Proverbs and Jesus tell us that sin starts in the heart before it manifests itself in our behavior. All throughout Proverbs Scripture tells us that lust, perversion, deceit, anxiety, backsliding, pride, jealousy, and wrong speech reside first in the heart. Jesus makes this clear again in Mark 7:20-23.

And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of people’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immoralities, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, evil actions, deceit, self-indulgence, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a person.”

Behavior modification is a joke that is not funny. The Pharisees were good at it, and Jesus called them evil. Why? Because Jesus is concerned with the heart—with our motives and attitudes—not just our outward actions. Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount that sexual sin does not start with the outward act; it starts in the heart, and we will be judged for that! But not only will we be judged for it later; we also will not be able to see lasting change now. If all we do is modify behavior but leave the source issue untouched in our hearts, it will spring up and break out elsewhere. What’s in the heart will come out in words, actions, and course of life. It is inevitable. Both Solomon and Jesus are clear on this.

Your behavior reveals the state of your heart. Outward gossip can reveal jealousy, bitterness, or pride in the heart. Adultery or pornography reveals lust in the heart. For real and lasting change to happen in your life, you need to assess what’s happening in your heart. Maybe your money problems can be traced back to a lack of contentment in God in your heart. Maybe the lies you tell reveal insecurity in your heart where you worship the approval of others. Examine your heart to figure out the motivations for your behavior.

Since we all have heart issues, we need new hearts for real and lasting change. Deuteronomy said that we fail to obey the law because we lack the hearts to obey (Deut 5:29; 10:6; 29:3). But it also promised that one day the Lord would perform an inner transformation of the heart that would enable obedience (Deut 30:6). This promise is repeated in Ezekiel where the Lord says he will give his follower a new heart (Ezek 36:26) and in Jeremiah where the Lord says he will write the law on our hearts ( Jer 31:33). Proverbs promises the same—a new heart with the law written on it (Prov 3:3; 7:3). Foolishness, or “lacking sense,” is described in the Hebrew of Proverbs as literally “lacking a heart” (6:32; 7:7; 9:4; 10:13; 11:12; 12:11; 17:18; 24:30; cf. Deut 5:29). The adulterer lacks a heart (Prov 6:32; 7:7). Woman Wisdom and Woman Folly seek the affection of the one who lacks heart (9:4,16). The one who lacks heart will die (10:21). The lazy fool is one who lacks a heart (24:30). In contrast, the wise person who listens to wisdom “acquires” a heart (15:32; cf. Ezek 36:26).

So we need to be born again with a new heart—a new source of power we did not have before. This happens through belief in Jesus. Once you trust Christ for salvation, you are born again and given new appetites for God, his Word, his church. You’re not given perfection—yet—but you are being changed. Solomon warns us to guard our hearts. Guard what you hear and see—what you allow into your heart—because it will have a tremendous impact on the course of your life. After all, the heart is the command center for your life.

Your Behavior Reveals the Condition of Your Heart

Proverbs 4:24-27

In the last section of Proverbs 4 Solomon says that our actions reveal what is in our hearts. He starts in verse 24 with our words. Your mouth reveals the state of your heart (Wiersbe, Be Skillful, 3). He tells his son to put away devious speech. This is a command for good behavior, but the son will only be able to obey it if he has guarded his heart. You must have a new heart—and guard that heart (v. 23)—to keep your tongue in check (cf. Jas 3). Evil speech reflects an evil heart. If you use your speech to hurt others, deceive others, gossip about others, or falsely flatter others, then it’s the overflow of a sinful heart. Again, Jesus told us this clearly in Matthew 12:34—“The mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.” Jesus says that our words will justify or condemn us on judgment day. That’s not because good works—or good speech in this case—gets us to heaven. It is because your speech reveals whether or not Jesus has changed your heart!

This is also true of our actions—the course of our life (Prov 4:25-27). You must have the right heart to stay on the right path where things will go well. Solomon exhorts his son to keep his eyes on the path (v. 25) because if he gets distracted, he will swerve off the path and injure himself. When my twin brother and I ( Jon) were very little we lived in a parsonage across the street from the church where our dad was on staff. We were poor and could not afford even a plastic pool, so on warm days our mom would turn on the sprinkler, and we would strip down to our birthday suits and run through the water. One day we were doing this when a ladies’ Bible study let out at the church. A lady was so distracted by the naked jaybirds across the street that she walked into a telephone pole and split her head open. Solomon warns his son not to get distracted and go off the path into the danger zone. If you do find your foot slipping, then repent—turn away from evil (v. 27). Again, we will not be perfect in this life. That’s not the expectation. But there should be gradual, sanctifying change in the course of our lives. If there is not, there is the danger of judgment.

Solomon is very concerned that his son get this—and we need to get it too—because we cannot walk in the wisdom of Proverbs 10–31 that leads to life if we do not have a new heart. If you are off the path of the wisdom of this book, it is because your heart is not right. You can see this in your speech and actions. They will testify for all to see and hear what is in your heart.

Conclusion

Change must take place at the heart level. That, not behavior modification, is the message of Christianity. You need to be born again by Jesus, and then the Spirit of Jesus will empower you to work on your heart issues. Proverbs hopes for this here, and Jesus gives it. This is absolutely critical because Jesus says that only the pure in heart will see God. That means that we have a big problem because our hearts aren’t pure (20:9). But here is the good news: Jesus lived the life you couldn’t live, died the death you should’ve died, and was raised from the dead. He will grant his Spirit and a new heart to all who believe in him. He will account you righteous before God, and then he will begin the work of progressively growing you in righteousness by the power of his Spirit through the Word. So it’s OK to not be OK, but it’s not OK to stay that way. Ask yourself some probing questions: Do I have a new heart? What do my struggles reveal about my heart? Then ask Jesus to change you at the heart level. He can. He will.

Reflect and Discuss

1. How has the wrong view of God as being like Santa Claus affected many people’s view of Christianity? How has it affected even Christians’ view of how to deal with sin?
2. Have you ever had a habit you just could not break? What about a New Year’s resolution, diet, or workout routine you could not stick to? What might these superficial examples reveal about a deeper spiritual condition?
3. What is the foundational reason why behavior modification isn’t enough? What is the ultimate problem?
4. In Proverbs 4:20 Solomon encourages his son to “give ear” to wisdom. Why is what we listen to so important? How can this truth affect what you listen to as an individual? As a family?
5. What does Proverbs 4:23 show us is key to how we live our life—the way we think, talk, act, and everything we do?
6. What also do Solomon (Prov 20:9; 22:15) and Jesus (Matt 12:33-37) tell us is the source of our sin?
7. According to Deuteronomy (30:6), Ezekiel (36:26), and Jeremiah (31:33), what is the ultimate solution for our sin problem?
8. Instead of isolated actions, what does Solomon say that our sinful behavior reveals?
9. Solomon warns his son not to get distracted and step off the path of wisdom (4:25), but we all sin. What are we supposed to do if we find our foot slipping (4:27)?
10. Jesus tells us that only the pure in heart will see God (Matt 5:8). But Solomon says that our hearts are not pure (Prov 20:9). What is the solution to this big problem?