There Is Power in Praising Your Spouse

Once again Shulammite addresses her lover as "the king." He is a shepherd-king, a bridegroom-king. The king "on his couch" or "at his table" indicates a time of rest and relaxation. It could also suggest the ideas of intimacy and lovemaking as they look forward to their wedding day (3:6-11) and their wedding night (4:1-5:1). She loves him and she wants to make love to him.

Appealing to his sense of smell, she says "my perfume releases its fragrance." The word for "perfume" is the rare word "nard." It will occur again in 4:13-14, and also in the anointing of Jesus for his burial 29(Mark 14:1-9; John 12:1-8). Nard, or spikenard, was an expensive fragrance. Hess informs us,

Carr adds that nard was in "much demand as a 'love-potion'" (Song, 85).

Shulammite is sexually aroused and seeks to elicit the same emotions in her man. And he is her king and he is worthy of a sensual and expensive display of affection. The release of her perfume and its fragrance creates an environment for lovemaking and romance. He is precious to her and much valued. She will hold nothing back.

Tremper Longman notes,

The ancient allegorists did indeed stretch their imaginations with some of their interpretations. However, the woman of our Song had quite an imagination herself, and her love for her man frees her to express it.

Shulammite says, "My love is a sachet of myrrh to me, spending the night between my breasts." The overtones are both intimate and sexual, picturesque and yet chaste.

What Shulammite does here is moving. She compares her shepherd-king to this precious sweet-smelling bundle, one that lies all night between her breasts, close to her heart. "Her thoughts of him are as fragrant and refreshing as the perfume that rises before her.... She carries those fragrant thoughts of him through the night in peaceful sleep" (Glickman, "Song for Lovers," 37). Nestled between her breasts against her beating heart, there is an intimate bond of love, longing, and loyalty that cannot be broken. There is a connection, a commitment that virtually transcends words. All night long he laid his head as a precious fragrance between her breasts. She trusts him so completely, she loves him so dearly, she can make available to him the most intimate and precious parts of her body. She holds nothing back. She knows she does not need to.

The woman now compares her man to a luscious and fruitful water garden, an oasis surrounded by desert. They have returned to the garden of Eden where the damaging effects of the fall are absent, nowhere in sight (see Gen 1-2). All is beautiful and fruitful. Death is outside in the desert. There is only life in this paradise for lovers.

Again Shulammite refers to Solomon as "My love." Theirs is an exclusive love relationship. He is a one-woman kind of man, and she is a one-man kind of woman. But she says more. He is refreshing, like "a cluster of henna blossoms to me, in the vineyards of En-gedi." The henna bush can reach a height of ten feet. It has thick yellow and white flowers in clusters and smells like roses. It is semitropical vegetation, and it grows at the En-gedi Oasis on the western shore of the Dead Sea, south of Jerusalem and just north of Masada. Longman notes, "Hidden and private, it is a romantic place to be sure" (Song, 106). The flowers, beautiful to see and sweet to smell, are a rare find in a desert's arid climate.

The analogy is striking. Solomon is like an oasis with its surprising pleasures and provisions in a desert. He is a rare find and therefore of inestimable value. It is as if the woman is saying, "All I have seen is a 31desert of men until I met you. You are my oasis with your beauty and fragrance. No man refreshed me until I met you. I dream about you. I think about you. I dream about us. I think about us. You are truly all I need. The very thought of you is a continual source of mental, physical, sensual, and spiritual pleasure. No man can make me feel like you make me feel." Here is passion that flows from praise. Passion in the bedroom is always preceded by passion in all the other rooms. Once again we see there is power in praising your spouse.

Practical Applications from Song of Songs 1:9-14

Abraham Lincoln said, "The success of a marriage depends not only on having the right partner, but on being the right partner" (McRae, Preparing, 86). Part of being the right mate is developing the art of praising your mate, loving her with your lips, "wowing" him with your words.

Steve Stephens says, "A healthy marriage is a safe haven from the tensions of everyday life. We need to hear positive things from our mate" ("37 Things," 177). He then shares 37 things we can and should say to our mate in order to bless, build up, encourage, and "wow" them! I love his list, and how I pray this will be the normal and regular vocabulary of marriages everywhere, beginning with mine! They prove beyond a shadow of a doubt there is power, awesome power, in praising our spouse.

In Psalm 45 we discover a royal wedding song that is unique to the psalter. Its language echoes that of our Song in a number of places. Some even believe it was first written for Solomon and his wedding. Like the king of our Song, this king in Psalm 45 is praised by others (v. 1) and is the most handsome of men with grace flowing from his lips (v. 2). He loves righteousness and hates wickedness (v. 7). Myrrh, aloes, and cassia perfume his garments (v. 8), and he desires with passion the beauty of his bride (v. 11). And, concerning this king, God Himself says, "Your throne, God, is forever and ever" (v. 6); "I will cause your name to be remembered for all generations; therefore the peoples will praise you forever and ever" (v. 17).

Psalm 45 points to the same king as the Song of Songs. They are one and the same. He is the Messiah-King, the promised King, the One that Hebrews 1:8-9 informs us is Messiah Jesus. Of Psalm 45, Alexander MacLaren said, "Either we have here a piece of poetical exaggeration far 33beyond the limits of poetic license, or a greater than Solomon is here" (Boice, Psalms, 381). One greater than Solomon is portrayed in Psalm 45. One greater than Solomon is on display in the Song of Songs as well.

This great King has beautifully adorned His bride (Song 1:9-11) for her wedding day (Song 3:6-11; cf. Rev 21:2), and she, along with the Spirit, invites all to come and enjoy the pleasures provided by the Bridegroom (Rev 22:17). Whereas He has made her cheeks beautiful with jewelry (Song 1:10), He gave His own cheeks "to those who tore out His beard" (Isa 50:6) as our suffering Servant-King. And all that we lost in the fall, being banished from the lush waters of the garden of Eden, we now regain as our Lover takes us into the beautiful oasis of En-gedi. This King, Shepherd, Bridegroom, and Lover is Paradise restored, and more! The delights He has for us are greater than we could ever imagine.

The world in which we live is a desert place indeed. We will never find in it what we need for life. All it offers is thirst, destitution, longing, and death. But in Christ our Shepherd-King it is altogether different. Here is the water of life, beauty, rest, and everything you will ever need. He is an Oasis of life for all who flee to Him. Won't you come and rest in all He provides? Jesus said, "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matt 11:28). What He says is true. Come and see!